By: Mohammed Ghattas
A legend as a gestation
Narcissism is an eponym from Narcissus. Ovid have taken the time to talk about it in his verse, Metamorphoses in 8 CE. It was about a Greek myth -- Narcissus, the son of the river’s god, Ciphesis. Narcissus was an Apollo that anyone who saw him fell in love with him. Albeit being an Adonis, he was refusing each girl who loved him even the wood’s mermaid. Narcissus got the retaliation gods’ back up, ergo they have cursed him. One day, and when he was drinking from a lake, he saw himself. In a blot from the blue manner, he became besotted with himself; he did not do anything but looking at himself until he kicked the bucket. Near the place where he breadth his last, a yellowish flower grew -- Narcissus; its name was the same as him.
From this legend, narcissism was denoted as a Narcissistic personality disorder. The well-known Austrian Sigmund Freud claimed that conceit is normal in the child emergence; on the contrary, it can be a syndrome provided the child was not capable of passing this stage, and it perpetuated with him till being an adult.
In psychology, the self-absorbed is who always preens and boasts about himself. He regards himself as a phenomenal, special, and beyond the comparison; furthermore, he believes that no one can comprehend him except for who has a genius for life. He exaggerates in elucidating his consummations; also, he is heart and soul in ruminating about success, being omnipotent, and the immaculate love. After cogitation, it will be palpable and incontrovertible that the egoistic is a pariah; however, in the beginning of relations, he win laurels about communing with people and procuring their veneration by dint of being charismatic; he is sometimes attractive on account of looking after his physique.
Narcissists amid people:
Stacy Campbell and Keith Campbell stated that in emerging relations zone, people revere the narcissist; he is eminently clever in making the first impression which lasts; he can be better than those who have emotional intelligence. When reaching the enduring zone when your relationship with him be like bosom friends, his egoistic start to be manifest -- yearning for always reverence, a relation like what is between a superstar and his fans. Furthermore, he likes hitting below the belt in your heels of Achilles, although he loathes raising Cain and being rebuked severely.
To corroborate so, Delroy Paulhus have brought some people, making them conversing with each other once a week where each one can talk for 20 minutes at mist for seven weeks. Additionally, he informed them to evaluate each other in the commencement of this conversation and the end of it. In the beginning of the first week, people think that narcissists are self-esteem and assertive, intriguing, and astute. In the end of the seventh week, all these has transformed where people’s money for narcissist was that they are crowing, barbaric. Devoutly, the narcissists have a plethora of woes in his romantic relation where it can last for four months at most, pursuant to sundry reports.
On the other hand, social media platforms will be a fidus Achates for such people where they can exhibit their character without making a counterfeit personality. Social media gives him the confirmation from people to know his positions via reactions, comments, shares, and so are online games. A study in South Korea was conducted on 1500 person who are playing games. They have found that narcissists are exposed to addicting a game like a world of warcraft where he can level up, collect weaponry, and become more potent in this default world.
Albeit his demerits, the narcissist can be more successful that who is not egoistic. His assertiveness that he is better than the others will be the impetus for having grit. A study in Italy was made to authenticate that. Compared to their intelligence rate, the narcissists were capable of bringing higher grades than anticipated.
Also, being convinced that he can lead can make the narcissist an efficacious leader, Alexander the great, Napoleon Bonaparte, Donald Trump, and many others. Ronald Deluga, a professor in psychology in Bryant asked manifold experts in psychology to evaluate the American presidents according to their vanity; he brought some history experts and asked them to assess their effectuality on their society during their presidency. After comparing the outcomes, the result was that the narcissist presidents were the best in eliciting fruitful reverberations in their community.
Michael Maccoby, a scientist in anthropology and an expert in leadership said that anyone who is in a leading position should be narcissist to an extent calling these people “productive narcissists.” Bill Gates, Steve Jobs and Andy Grove were productive narcissist for his money.
Some factors of narcissism are germane to genetics where you have no control on that; there are a cornucopia of miscellaneous factors like how the child was brought up. That is, when you praise someone, there are two kinds of praise -- personal praise and process praise. By dint of a profusion of personal one from parents to their sons and daughter, this may make them narcissist. Also, the community can make a child narcissistic like individualistic communities such as the capitalistic societies, unlike the collectivistic ones like Communistic societies.
Succinctly and deploying laconic words, no one loves who is big-headed and denigrating the others like narcissists; however, he was sealing his fates and jolted out of choice, for instance, genes he has inherited or a society of such principles he was brought up in. All these are symptoms of a psychological minefield he is meeting with like dejection. How can we deal with a narcissist? This is a moral paradox. The best way is to deal with him kindly, endure him; no one is immaculate. We are humans who have both advantages and disadvantages. Ergo, denoting him as a pariah will not be the remedy.
Dr Max Pemberton For The Daily Mail. (2017, July 11). Do you live or work with a narcissist? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-4683390/Do-live-work-narcissist.html.
Coughlan, S. (2018, June 26). Narcissists 'irritating but successful'. BBC News. https://www.bbc.com/news/education-44601198
Alfano, A. (2015, June 1). Too Much Praise Promotes Narcissism. Scientific American. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/too-much-praise-promotes-narcissism/.
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Maccoby, M. (2014, August 1). Narcissistic Leaders: The Incredible Pros, the Inevitable Cons. Harvard Business Review. https://hbr.org/2004/01/narcissistic-leaders-the-incredible-pros-the-inevitable-cons.