​If you told me yesterday that I was going to be adorning a stuffy, hot, and sweaty costume that was shaped like a heard while standing on the side of a busy intersection holding a ridiculous sign no less, I would have replied that was absurd. But it wasn’t that absurd of a proposal because here I was, doing exactly that.

The hot sun was shining directly on me and I could feel the beads of sweat rolling down my forehead. Around me, everyone was wearing red and carrying roses in their nervous hands; today was Love Conquers All day. The most important day of the year, so important that it’s the only day where employees get paid vacation.

Love has seeped so deep into society that I was practically enveloped by it from birth. In school, we memorized the type of love languages our future lovers would have. Posters encouraging us to confess our feelings hung in the back of our pink classroom.

​Love Conquers All day was celebrated every year on December 31st, but festivities began a week before. In history class, we were taught that in 2014 there was a diabolical war that threatened the very lives of men. The Earth was in ruins and people had begun counting down to when they would pass on. Then, just when another battle was about to commence, a young couple, named Valentine and Aphrodite, ran out onto the barren field. They refused to see the end of their love when it had just begun to blossom. With their minds clouded by their emotions, they tried to stop the war. Soldiers on both sides were baffled. “What were these fools doing?” they thought. The two lovers entangled their arms around each other and laced their fingers together, desiring that their last moments were in each other’s warmth.

The generals on both sides realized they weren’t moving and quickly ordered their soldiers to shoot. A fire of bullets was shot, yet none of them hit their target. Instead, a bright light was suddenly emitted from the ground where the two stood. Once the light died out, the soldiers could see a cherry blossom tree standing tall. Overwhelmed with curiosity, the soldiers cautiously approached it. The air around them softened and the tension of war disappeared. Upon reaching the tree, the sweet smell of cherry blossoms encompassed everyone in the vicinity. Instantly, all the weapons were dropped to the ground, which was now green and flower-filled. It is said that on that day the power of love that Valentine and Aphrodite had for one another saved all of humanity. All the soldiers returned to their loved ones and the war ended peacefully.

Later on, some medics found the couple lying unconsciously in a flower bed. They went on to live and get married on December 31st, 2014; the day now bestowed with the title of Love Conquers All Day.

“It was a romantic day of indescribable beauty” those who witnessed their marriage would say. Five decades later, their wedding anniversary is still celebrated as a romantic and beautiful day. People would propose and confess their love and roses would quickly go out of stock. However, even if the mood was set up perfectly and the proposer somehow got their hands on roses, one minor thing would determine if the love between two people would blossom: their soulmate 2 bracelets. Everyone was given one at birth so that it would experience everything you did and understand you as a person. This provided it with the knowledge to achieve its purpose; deciding if someone was your destined lover. If the person purposing to you was, the bracelet would fall off as you had no need for it anymore. Unfortunately, if they weren’t your soulmate, the bracelet would tighten and you would both be forced to part ways. 

Peeling off the heart costume from my body as I finished my shift advertising for a flower boutique, I raised my hand to look at my own bracelet. It was almost comedic that such an inanimate object held such tremendous strength over our own lives. At times, my thoughts towards it would tempt me to remove it and see what follows. Though, no matter how much I may think of the action, I have never taken it. An action motivated by what I believe to be the sheer stupidity of the bracelet would reap intense punishments, or so some say. My apparent dislike to it was not strong enough for me to risk myself.

After successfully returning the costume, which was now oozing in body odour, I stepped out of the flower boutique and into the unforgiving sun. Although the heat was all I could think about, I became distracted by the pink and red that seemed to surround me; people’s clothes, store signs, advertisements, and even cars. The whole world seemed to be too bright to look directly at. The saturated surroundings quickly clouded my vision and my body began moving on its own. Suddenly, someone bumped into my shoulder. A sharp pain shot through me and I lost my balance. As I was reaching for something to hold onto I felt my arm become lighter. After gaining my balance, I stood up and looked down at my, now extremely bare, arm. The soulmate bracelet was gone.

Anxious, my eyes instinctively scanned the ground around me. Nothing. The bracelet was not anywhere I could see. The palpitations of my heart were magnified by my growing worry that I had truly lost the one thing that no one has ever lost. Previously, I had bumped into countless people but never like this has it fallen. When I finally cleared my eyes from my anxiety, I realized something strange. Unlike the red and pink world I was experiencing before, everything around me was dulled out. The colour itself had been erased from the world and I didn’t feel much like myself. I wasn’t sad, but it felt as if I was longing for an unachievable desire.

​The couple that was previously holding hands and smiling in front of me was now having a disagreement. My eyes stuck to the scene; a fighting couple was unheard of and even rarer to see one in public. I frantically turned my head to look back at the flower boutique. A lover that was in there to purchase roses for his wife I now realize had his mistress dangled on his arm.

My mind was being overloaded with foreign sights and hit with a shock, I started to sprint through the streets. While I was running, I hoped to see what I would recognize to be the love I knew, the love that I was shown and taught. No one seemed to give me a second glance and yet all I could do was give everything one. As I ran, it was harder for me to refuse to believe that what I had seen was a mistake. Was love always like this? The opposite of what everyone believed it was? Why hadn’t I seen the reality, the grey, dull world instead of the pink and red one?

Love was the strongest and most beautiful emotion one could have for another, but my eyes showed me people that could break it off in a second, fake it for greed, and commit hideous actions in the name of it. Caught in a daze from watching a woman burn what appeared to be men’s clothes I realized that there was one thing that would prove that love was what I thought it was; the statue of Aphrodite and Valentine. Their love was what saved humanity, for sure if the statue remained the same then love hadn’t changed from what I remember it to be.

Pure adrenaline and the need to uncover the truth fuelled my legs to sprint to the memorial. As I neared it, everything seemed to turn darker. Not just the shade of buildings, but the advertisements that once screamed “Your true love is one rose away!” or “week-long program to find your soulmate” morphed into “roses wilt and so will your love” and “lifelong effort to move on from your soulmate”. I didn’t quite understand the new words, I mean roses never die and all my life I’ve never seen one die, they only grow deeper in colour. All the flowers were dead in the park when I ran past it though. Arriving at the memorial, I collapsed instantly from exhaustion. When my breath returned to me and I opened my eyes fully, the statue of Aphrodite and Valentine was standing tall in front of me. I sighed in relief. To comfort me, I walked closer to it to confirm the sight in front of me. The two lovers were embracing and although created out of stone, their eyes conveyed the deepest emotions. Looking down haphazardly, I noticed an inscription.

​“ Love is a fantasy. If you can see this then run. Those who know the truth will be forgotten. ”

What I thought was a comfort that spread within me instantly transformed into fear. I rubbed my eyes and read the words again. The same passage stared right back at me. This was not a hallucination and so I followed what it said.

I turned around and ran for what seemed like my life.  

With the sound of my heart beating so loud that I couldn’t concentrate, my mind wandered from one question to another at lightning speed. The sound of my surroundings was starting to fade and the colour dissolving from everything. Does this mean that the world I knew, the love I knew, was truly a fantasy like the passage told? I didn’t stop my legs for one second, determined now to return home and see the comforting faces of my parents.

The trip home was a blur, but once I arrived at my humble house with its, now dead, rose garden in the front, I brusquely opened the door. What was inside shattered every one of my beliefs?

In the living room, surrounded by smiling family pictures on the walls, my parents were yelling insults one after another and destroying the furniture. Furious expressions wore on each of their faces. Where were my madly in love parents, the ones that cared for each other so deeply they were prepared to continue loving even if their bracelets didn’t fall off?

At that moment, I knew the passage was right. Love was a fantasy.

Not being able to bear the sight of my parents, I bolted to my last safe haven; my room. Immediately after my door opened, I faced a man dressed in full black attire. I froze. Never once had I seen someone don a full black attire. With a soft and soothing voice, he spoke to me in a calm manner, as if he had done this multiple times already.

“This is a nightmare. You’ll forget it. ”

And with that line, my world went from dull to black.

————————————-

The sun shone strongly through my windows and woke me up from what felt like such deep exhaustion I had never experienced. If you told me yesterday that I would be experiencing this level of exhaustion, I’d laugh and tell you that I never get tired. Yet here I was, legs aching and head hurting. All I did yesterday was standing at a crosswalk holding an advertisement. Abandoning that line of thought, I groggily stood up to take a shower. As I peeled off my shirt, I noticed words written on my forearm.

“You are a fool. ”

I stared at those four words in confusion. Was me from yesterday playing a joke on myself? Did I write this so I wouldn’t forget it? But why would I say I was a fool? Having stared at it long enough, I decided it was meaningless and washed the ink off.

​After all, how could I be a fool? I would always have love to guide me and more importantly, my soulmate bracelet to prevent me from loving a fool.

​cherry blossoms
wither
pink and dry-
petals fall
slowly delicately-

i break
like a dream
slow
and then
i'm already
crying

pink dusts
grey-
my tears
glisten
like pearls

buttercup,
your fingers caress
tear tracks,
and
embrace ghost bruises

paint leaks
and
covers my floor
in acrylic hues
i unfurl a little
more

cherry blossoms
wither
and i
cry

spring
​never arrives

​we're high,
drunk off the dreams
of grazing skies
and
linking pinkies,
touching lips,
roaming fingers,
memorizing you
drinking all you offer-
we are afraid
of the future
and perhaps
this will be our downfall
uncertain, afraid and yet,
at home with
your arms
around mine
we're sipping waterfalls
and liquid ambrosia,
you shine
brighter than i ever will,
darling,
wine and honey,
poetry glitters
on your lips
drips like gold
onto clear streams
and
grassy hills-
i want to unknow
unlearn
because
i forget
we aren't
meant to be

​we never were

​I once saw a girl who was the opposite as me
Who had a smile as big as the sun and as pretty as a tree
I, for myself, looked tired like an elderly
The thought thumped my mind, “How could this even be?”
I asked her this to end my curiosity,
She said, “Happiness is the key.”

She was fine at first, she was living her life
She joyfully jumped with jubilance and felt alive
But bullies were filled like a donut containing lies
Waterfalls ran down her eyes.

Never apologized, never got advice
The day has come for her to commit suicide
I remembered till’ this day
That nothing gold can stay.

I have been smacked with the forces of reality
My dull mind will never be free
The gray skies teared with us, as our tears filled like a sea
As I’m staring at this coffin and you’re not here with me
I can’t help but knowing it is you
I can’t see
As you are now an angel up above,
​you will remain in my mind and dreams.

​In the night we go hunting
Though we're not average joyriders
We search for knowledge and intuition
As it is our only defense and only power
Our last capacities before the hour
​
He is my guide, my torch
We get into stranger's cars
We listen and talk in twos
We hear great stories and adventures
His last wish before he's a pensioner

Before I close my eyes
I know he's there
And then we are off again
I've grown from an early bird to a night owl
As his frames glimmer, my vision is clear
​We are going anywhere but here

​spin a little and dance;
hum to the breeze
and sway with the wind;
twirl your skirts afloat-
fear not the worry
and for a moment,
let go.
feel the wind
caress your skin;
do not fear anxiety.
it shall arrive
and it shall go,
but for now,
you shall dance
and above,
the moon will shine
silver and
glow against the
backdrop of
deep velvet blue.
she will drip, waxy
shiny pearls that
glitter around her-
they twinkle
and glimmer
surround her with love-
surround you with warmth
because darling,
i am enamoured
and
i would gift you
the moon
​and the
 s
t
  a
r
   s
​would fall
to make us
​one

​Blue waves foam over with white
Tufts of feathery clouds
Swirl themselves around the vastness
Of the blue dome
The ocean wraps herself In a cocoon of billowing waves
Rises at midnight
With the help of Eurybia And Oeolyca
Soars into the night sky
And greets Selene
Greets the velvet blue
Greets the shining light of the stars
Greets the moon
Takes no heed
To warnings from either Poseidon or Zeus
She knows what she can accomplish
She doesn’t need no help
From a God
She puts aside her troubles
And rises
And flies
And glides
High, high up
She doesn’t need
​A God
Because she is a Goddess
And don’t no Goddess ever need a God
Tonight, the ocean spills over
Tonight, the ocean laughs
Tonight, the ocean finds herself
Finds vengeance
Tonight,
​The ocean becomes the sky

 

​He seems happy, right?
You hear him laugh, you see him smile.
But did you take the time to look in his eyes?
All you will find is his void echoing with silence.
He sits all by himself locked up in his room,
Smothered in his darkness,
With heavy thoughts and what ifs,
He clutches his tear stained pillow.
He sits up and looks around his room.
To see that the only person there is Him.
The only person who hears his agonizing cries
Is he himself.
He screams in his silence but no one cares,
His pain goes unnoticed, no one can tell,
His smile is like that of an angel, but he lives through hell,
His eyes brim with madness as he strikes at the walls.
So he tucks his melancholy away,
He wears a mask roughly designed of:
Pretend jokes, fake smiles and happy lies.
He’s at constant war with himself,
For caring about people who don’t care about him.
Nobody knows it’s empty,
The smile he wears,
No one knows that the pain he feels slowly devours his soul,
If only you looked deeper within,
You’d see that he was dying inside,
You say that you know him,
​But truly, you know nothing at all.

​The world is facing a pandemic,
And amongst the angst,
the heightened anxiety of it all,
We as humans, we as a society,
Still manage to blame the people who “appear” to be Asians,
We still manage to make this crisis,
A platform, a fuel for racist memes, xenophobia and violence against innocent people like you and me.

Maybe Mother Nature wants her earth back,
For just a little while
Maybe she wants some time for the land to heal,
And let everyone and everything breathe.

Maybe we should do what Mother Nature throws at us,
Because she’s been waiting a long time for us to change,
And we still did not.

Yes there is fear,
Yes there is isolation,
Yes there is panic buying,
Yes there is sickness,
Yes there even is death.

But, stories are appearing all over the world,
Of our Nature thriving,
They say in Wuhan after many years of noise, you can hear the birds sing,
Italy may be suffering from some of the worst cases of coronavirus, but perhaps a small win for the country is that the canals of Venice now boast clear waters,
Thanks to Odisha we see over 475000 endangered Olive Ridley sea turtles have come ashore to dig their nests and lay their eggs,
Now that people work from home, we use less plastic, print less, travel less hence helping omit less greenhouse gases,
Today we stand united as churches, temples and mosques prepare to welcome and shelter the homeless, the sick and the weary.

All over the world people are waking up to a new reality,
To how big we really are,
To how little control we really have,
​And to what really matters.

​​I sat down next to the lake,
dipping my feet in the water.

The ripples in the water were brief and pretty,
and after they stopped,
I was able to see my face.

Everything is calm,
the birds chirping,
the leaves rustling.

Mosquitos buzzed around my face,
but I didn’t do anything to stop them.

The humid air seemed to press against my skin,
the dampness soaking into my clothes and hair.

Even then,
I sat near the lake,
my feet moving around in it.

The scene was quiet,
​but it was not still.